Swallowed by a Jaguar
A Mother's Memoir on the Loss of an Adult Child
by Deborah Pearcey , Amber Landgraff and Michelle Retterath

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Through the eyes of her devoted mother, Deborah, Swallowed by a Jaguar unveils the vibrant journey of Amber Landgraff, a passionate woman who lived fiercely despite numerous challenges. From an early age, Amber found inspiration in fine art, navigating life with a heart full of dreams and a soul brimming with creativity. However, Amber confronted not only the trials of modern adulthood, but also the formidable challenge of cancer, which she faced with unparalleled strength until her untimely passing at the age of thirty-four. This memoir is more than an exploration of love and loss. It explores hidden health risks of modern living, the impact of corporate greed, and the complex relationship between women’s health and societal expectations. Deborah’s heartfelt tribute also sheds light on the complexities of the medical system and emphasizes the need for greater awareness of medical gaslighting. Enriching the narrative, Deborah incorporates Amber’s own essays, words, and art, giving voice to her daughter’s unique perspective. Swallowed by a Jaguar will resonate with anyone who has grieved the loss of an adult child, those seeking to understand early adulthood cancer risks, and readers looking for insights into the factors shaping our health. Amber’s story is a poignant reminder of the interconnectedness of our lives and well-being. What unseen threads connect our health to the lives we lead?

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Deborah Pearcey began writing Swallowed by a Jaguar as a way to heal. “I have had the story of Amber’s death constantly in my mind for five years. I thought, perhaps, if I wrote it down and made it concrete, my mind would let it go a bit. I was doing it as therapy and also to remember Amber.” Thus, the story of her daughter's life came to be. With extensive experience as a healthcare professional, Deborah has worked as a pharmacist, on the geriatric floor at a hospital, and at a cancer care center in Hamilton. Her professional background deeply informed her research for this memoir and her experience with Amber’s death. Deborah now lives in Barrie, Ontario, with her husband, Doug, and their daughter, Molly. Through sharing Amber’s story, Deborah hopes to provide insight and support to others, while continuing to honour Amber’s memory.

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Contributors

Author

Deborah Pearcey

Author

Amber Landgraff

Author

Michelle Retterath

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