God Give Me Faith
And Other Prayers You Don't Want to Pray
by Rayel Bausenhaus

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“God give me faith,” is the prayer you don’t want to pray. It’s a prayer that usually means you’ll endure uncomfortable and terrifying situations that push every boundary you have. It’s a prayer I prayed as, over six months, one of my parents lost their ability to remember and the other, their ability to breathe. God Give Me Faith is about that prayer and what resulted from it. Just like that, I became part of the sandwich generation, caring for my parents while raising my family. Thrust into a world I’d never experienced, I had to learn to navigate it, fast. I fell down. I made mistakes. But I had to keep moving forward. Besides requiring an abrupt level of maturity, becoming part of this generation requires faith. Faith in God to give you what you need and who you need to get through it. Faith in yourself, that you can do hard things, that you are braver than you ever imagined. Faith in your choices and decisions, that you’ve made the best decisions you can in the moment. No one talks about how hard it is, the reality of it, and the aftermath. They don’t talk about the exhaustion and chaos, nor do they talk about the fear, self-doubt, and isolation. As I walked this path, despite all the people around me, I felt alone. God Give Me Faith is my story about becoming a parent while caring for parents, building a community around you and seeing the supporters who walk with you. While I can’t answer why these things happen, I hope that my story shares how you can get through them, and serves to remind you that you are not alone.

www.rayel.ca

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Rayel Bausenhaus is a former varsity volleyball player, having spent five years with the UBC Thunderbirds women’s volleyball team, winning five consecutive national championships. When she’s not planning activities and sensory bins for her children, she works as a human resources consultant, specializing in strategy development and implementation within small- and medium sized businesses. On her twenty-sixth birthday, right after her wedding, Bausenhaus became a member of the sandwich generation. She received a phone call from the RCMP that her father had had a heart attack while cycling. While he was in one hospital and rehab for the next six months, her mother’s cancer returned, and she passed away shortly after. Bausenhaus’ goal is to build a community of people walking through the stickiness that is life in the middle of the peanut butter sandwich generation. In her spare time, Bausenhaus loves to camp, cook new recipes, organize everything she can find, and spend time with her family and friends. She volunteers with a variety of capacities within the sectors of sport, non-profit, and ministry. Bausenhaus lives in Vancouver, BC, with her husband and their two children.

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Contributors

Author

Rayel Bausenhaus

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