Did You Hide the Cookies?
Inescapable Heartaches of Caregiving for My Love with Alzheimer's, Anxiety, and COPD
by Judith Allen Shone

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One day there is a diagnosis. And in that instant, you become a caregiver. Now what? Unexpectedly, Judith Allen Shone begins the journey of an unprepared and terrified caregiver when her aging loved one is diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. In her mid-seventies and alone, she longs for assistance as she navigates the realm of Alzheimer’s to find information, resources, services, and counseling. Following the challenges that begin in “Is There Any Ice Cream?,” the stories in “Did You Hide the Cookies?” reflect candid and personal experiences with later stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Shone faces demands and heartaches that ravage and exhaust her spirit as her love’s memories continue to fade, anxiety attacks increase, and COPD closes in on his lungs. Become immersed in Shone’s world as she seeks to dispel the misconceptions surrounding her love’s fatal diseases. Even while she eases apprehensions and encourages caregivers to find lifelines, she cannot hide the desperation she feels when, after eight years, caregiving begins to extract an emotional and physical toll. Shone finally experiences heart wrenching conflict when her love’s name is added to the crisis list, moving him toward finding residence in a long-term care facility.

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In “Did You Hide the Cookies?” Judith shows us what a deep well of compassion looks like and what is demanded of this compassion and love when you are a caregiver. She walks you through her personal minefield of helping someone with a disease that can’t be pinned down, can’t be predicted and can’t be understood. Then she flips the coin and gets very real about the toll this role takes on the caregiver, offering herself as her model. She beautifully and painfully captures the unseen anguish and exhaustion of a caregiver. You will learn from ““Did You Hide the Cookies?” and you will identify and be validated in your own experiences with memory diseases. “My Love.” This is how Judith identifies and talks about her partner who has Alzheimer’s. I have heard that ‘love’ and remaining ‘in love’ is a conscious act. Judith reaffirms her love not only by calling her partner “My Love”, but by invoking that relationship and that emotion even in the midst of the hardest events and feelings. —Robby Henes, a daughter and a caregiver

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It never occurred to Judith Allen Shone to ask "what if" her love became ill and she had no choice but to become his caregiver. Throughout her stories, Shone lovingly conveys caregiving experiences from the various stages of her love's Alzheimer's disease. Her honest and intimate reflections are meant to provide insight into a caregiving world for which she is unprepared. Her first book, "Is There Any Ice Cream?," received praise from caregivers, relating primarily to how it feels to be a solo caregiver. Shone's second book, "Did You Hide the Cookies?," glimpses caregiving in the realm of dementia, as she unveils moments of understanding to allay fears. Shone graduated with a BA in Art from Colorado State University in 1965. She has used her education in art, design, marketing, and exhibit sales and now to encourage caregivers. She still lives her caregiver role with her loved one in Canada.

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Contributors

Author

Judith Allen Shone

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