I Thought God Would Be Taller
by Dallas Lacey

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A demanding deity. A womanizing astronaut. An outrageously whimsical uncle. An unimaginative main character. An author that continually goes off on tangents. The “story” goes: Just before Dennis dies in a plane crash after his 70th birthday (spoiler!) he encounters God in the seat next to him. God gives him three tasks to complete in his next life in order to help make Gary, Dennis’s incorrigibly amoral father, a better person. Unfortunately, Dennis simply doesn’t have the imagination to complete the tasks properly (spoiler!) and an endless cycle of reincarnations, relived lives, and a disappointed God follows. But wait! Does skunk-taxidermying, pot-smoking, drinking-and-driving Uncle Ralph have a solution? No. No, he doesn’t. But he does make the story more interesting, because Dennis certainly isn’t going to do that. Also, there’s a big twist in Chapter 23 (spoiler!). You won’t see it coming. Unless you read ahead, that is. This back cover contains so many spoilers, it could be a 747 if it wasn’t the wrong size and shape.

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Dallas Lacey, also the author of On Second Thought Maybe I’ll Live, got his start writing when he learned the letters of the alphabet in kindergarten. Now, he lives in Coquitlam, British Columbia with his wife, two cats, and furniture. He enjoys skydiving, bungee jumping, and a plethora of other made-up activities to make him sound more interesting.

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Contributors

Author

Dallas Lacey

Illustrator

Kurt Hershey