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Sail with the Tide
a Dad's View of Addiction
by
James W. Stewart
Sadly, few of us haven’t had our lives touched by addiction. Even more tragic, for many of us, it is our child who is suffering—and our child who we struggle to help. James W. Stewart is one such parent. When his late son, Joshua, started down the dark path of substance abuse more than twenty years ago, he struggled with what to do. Now, after Joshua’s passing, there are many things James wishes he’d known—and wishes he’d said or done. Harrowing and heartening by turns, Sail with the Tide is the story of one father’s difficult journey trying to be there for his son. Although many of his lessons only came after his son’s passing, James did his best with the knowledge he had and supported Joshua through rehab programs, the drug court, and the US prison system along the way. Over the course of this decades-long fight, the Stewart family all suffered, struggling with how to love and support someone who wasn’t acting in his own best interests—and the difficult, fine line between unconditional love and enablement. Many of these lessons might challenge what we’ve come to believe about addicts—and even our own instincts. But though Joshua’s life was tragically cut short, other parents may still have time. In Sail with the Tide, James hopes bearing witness to Joshua’s life may provide the consolation and support the parents of addicts so badly need—especially before it’s too late.
Author, father, and career academic James W. Stewart knows the pains of being a parent to a child addicted to drugs. He speaks from nearly two decades of experience struggling to help his son through his addiction, including tracking him down to where he was living on the street, accompanying him during his trial in drug court, and ultimately losing him to addiction. He was moved to write this book in hopes of helping parents like him avoid what he sees as the mistakes he made with his son. This book is intended to remind them to pay close attention to their child and to offer unconditional love even in the hardest of moments, as well as to recognize that this means avoiding acting from a place of codependency. During James’s twenty-plus years of parenting, his son brought him into close contact with the world of addicts, drug rehabilitation facilities, and the legal and prison systems of the USA. This was further bolstered by the work of his daughter, a drug and alcohol counselor. This experience led to a profound deepening of his understanding of addiction, its causes, and the problems addicts face. His academic background prepared him well for the research portion of this book, which is his second, after his dissertation, The Role of Traditional Healers in HIV Prevention (University of Washington, 2000). Mr. Stewart lives in Rogersville, Missouri, with his wife of almost fifty years. You can follow his blog, www.bytsnpieces.com
Contributors
- Author
- James W. Stewart