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The Wrinkly Ranch cover

  • Keywords
    • long-term care,
    • eldercare,
    • gerontology,
    • frontline workers,
    • older adult living,
    • healthcare,
    • seniors' residences

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The Wrinkly Ranch
Unbelievably funny, shocking and poignant anecdotes of life and work in Long-Term Care
by Tristan Squire-Smith

“God’s Waiting Room, Geezer Glen, Catheter Flats, the Wrinkly Ranch . . . whatever euphemistic pet name you have for long-term care homes, the overall sentiment remains the same: it’s the last stop. But is all hope lost? Is there no joy? Shenanigans? Thefts? Laughter? Sex?” After serving in various roles for two decades in the clinical area of long-term care (LTC), Tristan Squire-Smith demystifies the daily realities of living (and working) in LTC through a collection of unvarnished and comedic short stories. Told in the type of blunt, dead-pan, narrative only a veteran, seen-it-all-before, registered nurse could offer, a stodgy old bromide, this book is not. “If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!” Each chapter tackles a different issue. While the names are fabricated, and some stories might seem stranger than fiction, the contextual circumstances and all events described are based on lived and authentic experiences. Learn more about the nuances and understand the complexities of LTC… because old people are old, not dead, and life goes on until the end. The Wrinkly Ranch lends helpful perspective and aims to foster greater appreciation for the challenges and lessons that life at the last stop can teach us all. Useful hints are peppered throughout to guide the reader how to interact with the care team most effectively, what to expect and how best to offer meaningful assistance to a parent or loved one living in LTC. Any health care professional will be able to identify with these tales; there is therapy in being able to laugh at the work, knowing you are not alone. Friends and family may be amazed at the insights these stories offer into the (unknown) lives of the front-line workers they know so well.

Tristan Squire-Smith photo

Tristan Squire-Smith is a Registered Nurse with a constellation of professional experiences having served in leadership positions, academic lecturing and clinical instruction appointments, and front-line nursing work in medicine, long-term care (LTC), mental health and public health environments. Holding degrees in chemistry, modern languages, nursing and a Master’s of Business Administration, and having obtained the Certification Board of Infection Control and Epidemiology’s Certification of Infection Control (CIC) and The Canadian College of Health Leaders’ Certified Health Executive (CHE) designation, have enabled Tristan to manage teams and lead organizations in both the public and private sectors. He continues to work on the front line in LTC, provides business-related consulting services, has achieved patent-pending status with the United States Patent and Trademark Office with his proprietary infection-preventing water activity and sport related product, and recently earned his real estate license. The Wrinkly Ranch is Tristan’s first book.


Tristan Squire-Smith

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